Now My Crush Changed Into My Love

Crush. Is it just crush or something deeper? I don't know. It's like being attached to somebody like crazy. It's like you'll be dying to see him. It's really like that. But sometimes things get complicated. When you get friend-zoned, it actually happens. It really hurts, like, the worst feeling you'll ever experience. But whatever happen, you gotta be strong.

Well, I don't even know how to start this. I was just 13 years old when it started. I met him before, but I didn't expect that it will be deeper. To be clear, he's not my batchmate. He is a senior student. He is my inspiration in writing this.

So it started when I met him last Communication Arts Week. I was a facilitator at The Amazing Race. We were divided into groups and he was my group leader. The first thing that came into my mind was he's gay. An awkward moment happened to me last year. I was going to ask my classmate what to do on a project. I hurriedly typed his name and I accidentally entered the wrong one. I didn't even notice until that guy said he didn't know me. After several months, I met him in a celebration of a very important event of English Club. I was so embarrassed I haven't answered any of his questions.

I even thought it would end up there. I had another wrong sent message. He viewed my profile and he recognized me. He said he can remember me from The Amazing Race. We chatted for an hour. I told my friend about it and she was like "There something beneath.". Yes, it developed. So he was my crush.  I told my friend again. She said "See?". Every night we're chatting. He even told me that he was infatuated to his bestfriend. And all he knew is I have a crush on my batchmate. I was so inspired I can smile like a dog.

It's been a month since my feelings developed. As I was scrolling down on Facebook, I saw this post which broke my heart. I was friend-zoned, but it's unofficial and unintentional. He doesn't even know that I like him. To my surprise, that news spread already faster than the rotation of earth! I was so down I can't even smile. Even anime couldn't make me smile or laugh. I'm so depressed, wishing I didn't open my account so I wouldn't be hurt. The worst of it, I got jealous when I saw them together. I can't even focus on my studies. I was lost, lost in the shadow of his soul. I don't know what to do. Some say I should tell him, some say no. When I changed my profile picture, he liked it. I felt happiness and satisfaction. I'm happy he still doesn't know how I feel for him. I'm satisfied of being his friend. At least I didn't lose him even though he's not mine. But in the end I'm still his friend and I do appreciate his efforts for her (his bestfriend).

As of now, I'm happy that we're okay. I think I'll tell him my feelings when he graduated. I just think I'm still young and I've been strong despite many circumstances. It's really hard being a high school student. But I am so thankful I met him. At least, I have an inspiration. For now, it's love.

I finally realized how important he is. He even borrowed a book for me. He taught me to sing during flag ceremonies and flag retreats. He's so kind to me. And all I know is I'm so in love with him.

It's like a diary, but for me it's a journal. Well, I am not assuming that he will like me too. To sum it up, I'm going to support him in every decision he makes. I'll be a true friend to him. I'm happy when he's happy, and I'm sad when he's sad. He's like an older brother to me. I hope that he'll like this composition when he read this.

*this composition is not updated about what's happening
**i don't think i'll let him read this

To Be or Not To Be

To be is like, being true to yourself no matter what happens. It's like showing who you are and what you've got. As a student I need to be myself and show them that I can be who I wanna be. I need to study hard just like how I study back when I was an elementary student.

Not to be is like, controlling your temper. I can be mad when I lose my temper. It's like not to be bad or else we'll be kicked out. I will say I have a very long patience because my classmates have been bullying me since first year. They knew that they hurt my feelings but they won't stop. They're so lucky I'm not a sadist this time. I almost killed my classmate way back in elementary. I was just trying to stop him from fighting with my other classmate. After the fight he bullied me and blamed me for everything. I lost my patience and I punched him so strong that he fell on the ground and he vomited too much blood. He was brought to the clinic and me to the guidance office. And it ended up he moved to some other school. The same thing happened to my "bestfriend" (daw). She's so mean and so maarte. She bullied me for a long time and when I had lost my patience again, I punched her too. She cried but she didn't transfer.

That's why I'm just silent when they tease me. I don't like ending up punching them and sending them to the clinic. I am scared of what will happen when I lose my patience on them. I know it's a "not to be" but I can't help it. A little more bullying and I will send them to the hospital or to the grave.

I'm not joking. I can hurt or kill anyone at anytime.

How I Feel For English Classes

As I sat on the chair
I felt the nervousness again
I had when I was a freshman
And I'm ashamed

It's the third time 
I'll be studying here
And I'm like a mime
Who can't be cheered

At first I was really thinking 
Of being embarrassed
So I was like sinking
In with the shames I had

I enjoy every English class
Because we always have fun
Although this won't last
It's always you're going to shine

But at times we're being scolded
By the teacher we love
For our attitudes to be molded
So that we will be the best
I learned many things
About spelling and grammar
And I was so ashamed
Of my mistakes about grammar before

I know I'm not good in making poems
That's why there's no rhyme
But at least I expressed my thoughts clearly
And I'm happy for it

The Best Technology Invention For Me

A lot of technological gadgets are used nowadays. These are invented by genius people around the world. These gadgets are really a great help for us humans. They make everything easier. For example, the cellular phone. Before it was invented, letters were used to send messages to far away lands. It's very hard for them because they can't tell if the letter will reach the person on the address. But with the help of cellular phones, or mostly called "cell phones", sending message at anytime and anywhere is a lot easier. You're just going to type and send it to the SIM card number of the recipient, and that's it. Easy as that.

Now I have this what I call "The Best Technology Invention For Me", and it's the netbook. I know it's the same as the laptop but for me it's more portable than the laptop. It's not that heavy, just light. And you can do whatever you do just like in a PC.

It's easier for me to do my homeworks because I finally had my own netbook. And in most cases I spend time watching anime and music videos.